Quotes from White Collar Episode "As You Were"

Season 3, Episode 8 Air Date: July 26, 2011

Caffrey: What's going on? Are you leaving?
Sara: The renovations on my apartment are far enough along that I can move back in.
Caffrey: Doesn't mean you have to head out right this second.
Sara: Neal. I'm leaving. Done.
Caffrey: A few hours ago, we were fine. Now you're walking out? What happened?
Sara: Well, the inevitable happened, Neal. I mean, we didn't think this was gonna last.
Caffrey: I didn't know we were a fait accompli.
Sara: Come on. This was fun... But we're two very different people.
Caffrey: Oh, come on, Sara, you've always known who I am.
Sara: Yeah, you're right.
Caffrey: Okay. I guess you figured out everything I have to offer. We could be good together.
Sara: I know. Neal, you live in the clouds... And I live on West 69th.
Caffrey: I never promised you anything else.
Sara: I know.
Caffrey: Well, you found your way out.
Sara: I'll figure out the rest of my things.
Caffrey: Yeah.
Sara: Caffrey, please take care of yourself.

Diana: Why'd you bring Caffrey?
Burke: I brought him for his expertise and his company.
Caffrey: He likes to poke me with sticks.
Burke: I do.
Caffrey: Either you forgot to clean up for company, or that was quite a fight.

Caffrey: Cryptic postcards from old friends mean trouble.

Jones: Break-ins, mercenaries, secret messages.
Caffrey: Just another day, huh?
Burke: Welcome to life outside the van.

Jones: They make Blackwater look like a YouTube cat video.

Isabelle: C.J. and I were a little bit almost married once. It's kind of a...
Caffrey: Long story.
Diana: Did she just call him C.J.?
Caffrey: Mm-hmm.
Jones: Isabelle, this is, uh...
Burke: Agent Peter Burke.
Jones: Peter Burke, yes, and, uh, Neal Caffrey.
Caffrey: Hi. Agent Burke's C.I., not to be confused with his C.J.

Mozzie: For what it's worth, I'm really sorry about Sara. She has an infectious joie de vivre. And she looks terrific in pant suits.
Caffrey: Promise me you'll never speak at my funeral.

Caffrey: About C.J.? Is that a special pet name only she calls you, or can we call you that?
Burke: Neal.
Caffrey: You asked if I was good.
Burke: It was rhetorical.
Caffrey: I want to ask him— Okay, apparently, I'm good.
Burke: Shush. He's good. Any questions?
Jones: No, no, not at all. Teaming up with my ex-fiancée to confront a dangerous man to find her missing husband. Should be fun.

Jones: Peter, I'm in.
Burke: Good. You have eyes on Isabelle?
Jones: Sweet lord almighty.
Burke: I'll take that as an affirmative.
Jones: Yes, sir.

Isabelle: Why did Jimmy run? If he turns himself in instead of pulling a Jason Bourne, he'd be safe.

Jones: You know, I work in a van. I live under the stairs. I—
Isabelle: You're way too modest. Like it or not, you're a good man, Clinton Jones. That's kind of a rare thing.

Caffrey: I'll go back tonight and look around.
Mozzie: Won't that look suspicious?
Caffrey: I'm a criminal. We keep odd hours.

Caffrey: And now Jimmy wants out because he didn't think it would escalate to murder.
Burke: Or Jimmy's involved in the murder, and he ran because he's guilty.
Caffrey: I'll Do you always presume guilt?
Burke: Guilty people do guilty things. Am I wrong?
Caffrey: For the sake of argument, let's go with my version.
Burke: Fine.

Burke: Why make a bullet out of palladium?
Caffrey: High-tech werewolves?

Caffrey: Glad I don't pay taxes.

Henry Van Horn: Hmm. I'd suggest using less cologne. You wouldn't want Jimmy smelling you on his wife when he gets back.

Caffrey: Yeah, so, while we were waiting, I thought maybe you could use a drink.
Jones: Come on in. I'll get a couple glasses.
Caffrey: Okay.
Jones: I screwed up.
Caffrey: Aw, a little bit. But you're a good man, Jones.
Jones: Yeah?
Caffrey: Yeah.
Jones: Then why did I let van Horn get to me?
Caffrey: Mm, same reason that landed me consecutive 4-year prison sentences.
Jones: What, an almost sociopathic need to tell lies of omission and get something for nothing?
Caffrey: I was gonna say "passion.”
Jones: Mm. Passion.
Caffrey: Yeah, it makes the world go 'round. Passion to get what we want, passion to keep what we have, passion to get back to things we lost.
Jones: No. I left Isabelle...for a reason.
Caffrey: Which was?
Jones: Which was, if we had stayed together, she would have been miserable. She would've had to quit her job, move to the city, and you know the hours that I keep at the Bureau. We never would have seen each other. So I made a choice.
Caffrey: To leave?
Jones: To leave. We can't have it all, right?
Caffrey: Well, why not?
Jones: Why not?
Caffrey: Why not?
Jones: Why not?
Caffrey: Why not?
Jones: Well, because choices are sacrifices. And, inevitably, that means giving up something that you want for something that you want more. So, now I have to ask... What does "having it all" mean to Neal Caffrey?
Caffrey: Never having to worry about money. Um, doing something that's meaningful, being surrounded by people I care about and respect, you know. That's pretty much the dream.
Jones: Screw you.
Caffrey: Screw me?
Jones: Screw you. You're already living the dream.
Caffrey: Oh, come on.
Jones: Now you are the damned dream with a tracking anklet. Am I wrong?
Caffrey: Well, screw you back, Jones, 'cause you got the same things I do.
Jones: Yeah, well, maybe not the same living arrangements. Am I right?
Caffrey: Yeah.
Jones: I guess I do have it pretty good, don't I?
Caffrey: Yeah. Guess we both do. Expecting somebody?
Jones: No, I'm not.
Caffrey: Is this gonna be somebody else who knows Kali? I hope not. 'Cause you just got the place cleaned up. I hope that's not the case.

Burke: Diana, you still have friends in the State Department, right?
Diana: Yeah, a few.
Burke: Powerful enough to convince van Horn to take a meeting first thing tomorrow?
Diana: Sure. Who with?
Caffrey: A high-ranking naval commander who's looking to do business with Barrett-Dunne.
Caffrey: I poke around, find out where they're holding Jimmy.
Diana: We move right to him before van Horn has a chance to try anything.
Burke: Can you do it?
Caffrey: I was an admiral. Royal Navy.
Burke: I didn't hear that. Nobody heard that. Pencils down. Don't write that.

Burke: I got some deviled ham.
Jones: What's going on?
Diana: Our repo trader might be making his move tonight.
Burke: And Neal's complaining about another stakeout.
Caffrey: Oh, no, no. I'm not complaining. I'm stating a fact. I would rather pound my thumb with a hammer than do another stakeout.
Jones: I'll do it.
Diana: What, pound his thumb?
Jones: No, do the stakeout.
Burke: Really? You don't mind?
Jones: No. Not at all. As a matter of fact, uh, kind of miss it.
Caffrey: Thank you. Thank you, Jones. You sure you want to miss poker night?
Burke: Yeah, I don't mind. I kind of enjoy these all-nighters, whereas some choose to complain about it.
Caffrey: You know how I get in the van. I get anxious. I sweat.
Burke: I do know. I do know. You have a good night.
Caffrey: You too.

Elizabeth: Well, so, we have an art exhibit and dinner. I think you pulled a fast one.
Mozzie: Moi?
Elizabeth: Come on. Laurent? Takes months to get in there.
Mozzie: Oh, it's nothing. I know a guy who blackmailed a guy. Something about spandex. I don't ask questions.
Elizabeth: Well, it means a lot to me that you thought of me, so thank you.
Mozzie: No, really. It was, uh, spandex.

Caffrey: Hey, Peter, how's the stakeout?
Burke: Jones is on a coffee run. Listen, that call you made before you left the office tonight...
Caffrey: Yeah?
Burke: Was it Sara?
Caffrey: She hasn't been taking my calls.
Burke: Aw, man. That's got to be weighing on you.
Caffrey: You have no idea.
Burke: Listen, you and I have been through some stuff, and we've had to keep things from each other. But, if you want to talk, and I— you know, I mean, really talk, I'm here for you.
Caffrey: Is this the loneliness of the van talking?
Burke: Maybe, maybe. But, uh, I— you know, I think you deserve some happiness. And I, uh, whatever I can do to help you with that. Let me know.
Caffrey: Thanks, Peter. That means a lot.
Burke: Yeah.No problem. See you tomorrow, Neal.
Caffrey: See you tomorrow.

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