Quotes from White Collar Episode "Bad Judgment"

Season 1, Episode 9 Air Date: January 26, 2010

Mozzie: What does the suit think?
Neal looks uncomfortable.
Mozzie: Your keeper and I actually agree on something.

Mozzie: Do you trust your FBI buddy?
Caffrey: Yeah, I trust him... Until I can't.

Caffrey: You're uncomfortable around a six-year-old.
Burke: I don't speak that language.
Caffrey: I do?
Burke: Yeah, you do, Peter Pan. Come on.

Burke: (to Neal) My wife's inviting you to lunch. The good thing is I get to come along, too.

Detective: Who's this.
Caffrey: I'm with the FBI.
Detective: No, he's with the FBI. A fed couldn't afford those cufflinks.

Burke: Ugh. (Sees Elizabeth looking at him) Delicious.
Elizabeth: See? That's why I wanted you to invite Neal.
Burke: Because he's a good liar?
Elizabeth: No, because he appreciates fine cuisine.
Caffrey: Which this is not. No one can lie that well.

Caffrey: I love the Met. They have this fantastic Matisse I’ve always admired… Right near the fire exit.

Burke: All right call your guy. But I want someone I can trust watching him in case he—
Elizabeth: In case he... what?
Burke: He's odd.
Caffrey: In a good way.

Mozzie: Mrs. Suit, I take it?
Burke: Honey, this is...
Mozzie: The cleaner.
Elizabeth: Are you selling vacuums?
Mozzie: I do not take your assumption as an affront, but as vindication of my ability to blend in.

Elizabeth: (about Mozzie) So, um, you're sure he won't try anything?
Caffrey: Do you have any rare paintings or coins?
Elizabeth: No.
Caffrey: You'll be okay.
Mozzie: Is this Gorham silverware? It's rather unique.
Caffrey: (to Elizabeth) Maybe you should keep an eye on him.

Burke: Is that a night vision spotting scope?
Mozzie: Oh, $50. Russian military surplus.
Burke: Why do you have it?
Mozzie: The real question is, why don't you?

Elizabeth: I don't think he bugged the dog.
Mozzie: Amateur.

Burke: Why are guys like you always interested in antiques with a dangerous history?
Caffrey: Because they have a lasting impact. Look at how they are affecting us right now.

Burke: Okay. First we stop the judge from taking the Sullivan home. Then we get her disrobed.
Neal raises his eyebrows.
Burke: You know what I meant. If we lean on her hard enough, she'll flip on Fowler.
Neal smirks and walks away.
Burke: You know what I meant... That's not what I meant...

Burke: That's a neat trick. Don't ever copy mine again.
Caffrey: Never again.
Burke: You have copied my signature.
Caffrey: Let's focus on the crime at hand.

Caffrey: You can pin this one on me. You like pinning things on me, right?

Burke: You're gonna stay here. Last time you were in a judge's chamber you jumped out of the window.

Burke: She offered me a bribe.
Caffrey: Really? How much you worth?
Burke: Quarter million.
Caffrey: That's it?
Burke: Yeah.
Caffrey: If I had known you are that cheap I would have bribed you myself.
Burke: No amount of money would have been as satisfying as catching you the first time... Or the second.
Caffrey: No one likes a braggart.

Mozzie: Old investigation?
Elizabeth: More like Peter's surveillance photos. I used to work as an assistant manager at an art gallery downtown. There was a theft and Peter was the lead investigator.
Jones: You were a suspect?
Elizabeth: I was a witness but he wanted to know if I had a boyfriend.
Mozzie: More like add you to the list of corporate, government... I mean, how charming.
Elizabeth: Anyway, he kept drowning on about this Italian restaurant but didn't have the courage to ask me out. So I— Well, I gave him a little hint.
Cut to a picture of Elizabeth holding up a sign that says "I ♥ Italian"
Mozzie: Misappropriating FBI resources to follow a girl.
Jones: It has been known to happen.
Mozzie: The suit is sly.
Elizabeth: He's a bit of a bad boy.

Caffrey: You want us to break into a Federal Judge's office and steal a tape?

Mozzie: Handle, right, like a doorknob.

Mozzie: It's oddly difficult to find a tailor in the dead of night, but I did the best I could.
Caffrey: Is this a park ranger uniform.
Mozzie: Maybe.
Caffrey: With an iron-on.
Mozzie: I couldn't find a thimble.

Caffrey: I figured you'd have the face of a mouth breather.

Burke: I don't suppose you had anything to do with Fowler's blank tape.
Caffrey: Blank tape?
Burke: Thanks.
Caffrey: I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, but you should thank your wife.

Caffrey: How are we gonna stall him?
Mozzie: With my obvious charm.

Burke: She's taking advantage of the system.
Caffrey: I hate when people do that. Now that I work for the system, of course.

Burke: You should be happy. Caught a dirty judge, got rid of Fowler.
Caffrey: He won't stay away as long as I have the music box.
Burke: As long as he thinks you have it.
Caffrey: Okay, I don't have it.
Burke: Oh, look at that: telling the truth. Did it hurt?
Caffrey: A little bit.

Mozzie: All hope abandon, ye who enter here.
Burke: I called him.
Mozzie: Consider this your Kate intervention.

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