Quotes from White Collar Episode "Stealing Home"

Season 3, Episode 15 Air Date: February 14, 2012

Burke: Any family in the area?
Caffrey: None to speak of.
Burke: Marital status?
Caffrey: Seriously?
Burke: You and Sara are getting along again. Maybe you eloped.
Caffrey: Vegas is a little outside my radius. Do you have to fill that out right now?
Burke: Your commutation hearing is in a week. I put this off as long as I could. Would you say you have a girlfriend?
Caffrey: That's really on there?
Burke: Neal, the board is deciding whether to release you from your anklet — from me — permanently. They want to know who's in your life. Are they a good influence, or are they gonna steer you back to the dark side?
Caffrey: And you think Sara could be an angel on my shoulder?
Burke: As opposed to that little devil you have on your shoulder now.
Caffrey: Mozzie's more of an imp than a devil.
Burke: Hmm.
Caffrey: But I was released into your custody. Ultimately, what you say at the hearing will carry the most weight.

Diana: Boss, you got a minute?
Burke: Yeah.
Diana: Can I speak freely?
Burke: Of course.
Diana: When Agent Kramer was here last week, he told me he doesn't think Neal deserves to have his sentence commuted.
Burke: Kramer told you that?
Diana: He wanted to know what I planned to say when I testify at Neal's hearing. He didn't say anything to me. He knows you consider Neal a friend. Can I ask...
Burke: What am I gonna say at the hearing? I haven't decided.
Diana: Kramer's sending some of his people to pick up Neal's old prison letters.
Burke: His letters to Kate? We always suspected they contained codes, but we could never crack them.
Diana: Maybe he thinks he can.
Burke: Give Kramer what he wants.
Diana: If he asks me to go behind your back?
Burke: I can't imagine he would.
Diana: If he does?
Burke: If he does, do it. But I want you to tell me about it.
Diana: I may be jeopardizing a wonderful career opportunity back in D.C.
Burke: I thought Christie hated D.C.
Diana: She does. And I work for you.

Mozzie: "Without leaps of imagination, you lose the excitement of possibility."
Caffrey: Are you quoting Gloria Steinem?
Mozzie: She's not just for feminists. She has unlocked what's missing in our lives. We need jobs.
Caffrey: If she only knew who she inspired.
Mozzie: Oh, she does. But not any job. A good job. A big job.
Caffrey: Well, I have to be careful about taking those kind of jobs at the moment, okay?
Mozzie: Look, I know this is risky with your big hearing coming up, but this is too good to pass up. You are looking at the first man hired to be part of Gordon Taylor's next score.
Caffrey: No, no, no, Moz. The FBI is after Taylor. Peter and I are chasing down his crew.
Mozzie: Me! You're looking for me. I'm his crew.
Caffrey: Pull out. You're gonna get caught.
Mozzie: Taylor never gets caught, and everybody gets paid!
Caffrey: Have you already said yes?
Mozzie: Yeah, of course I did. No one says no to Taylor. And he asked me about you to be his possible point man.
Caffrey: He asked about me?
Mozzie: Point. Man.
Caffrey: All right, there's a way we can still do this, but you're gonna have to work with us.
Mozzie: "Us" — you mean the suits?
Caffrey: Yeah.
Mozzie: Unh-unh.
Caffrey: You're already in. Taylor's going down one way or another.
Mozzie: Yeah, I don't want to be the one to bring him down.
Caffrey: Look, if we do this right, no more anklet, no more prison. I'll be free, Moz.
Mozzie: Look, Neal, I — I want to help you. R-really, I do, but not in this way. Come on. The guy's a legend.
Caffrey: All right, how about this? You keep your integrity intact. You said Taylor was asking about me, so set up the meeting. Then you've done your part.
Mozzie: If he takes you on, I will not wear a wire, I will not testify, and I will not lie to Taylor.
Caffrey: You won't have to. It'll be like we're really doing the job.
Mozzie: Yeah, without the fun.
Caffrey: Or the threat of prison.
Mozzie: Like I said.
Caffrey: This case takes us home, Moz.
Mozzie: Home. That's an apropos analogy, considering the target.
Caffrey: Why? What's the target? Taylor's gonna hit Yankee Stadium?
Mozzie: It's a good job.

Burke: I don't know what you're planning, but you are one week away from freedom, and you are really playing with fire here.

Caffrey: You're in a good mood.
Burke: My dad took me to a day game when I was 8. Decided then and there I wanted to play for the Yankees.
Caffrey: Yeah, you and every other 8-year-old at the game.
Burke: Yeah. I did end up getting pretty good.
Caffrey: Oh, I'm sure you did. I imagine a shelf somewhere loaded with little-league trophies.

Burke: Being here, all this, reminds me of watching games with my dad.
Caffrey: Your dad take you to a lot of games?
Burke: No. Mostly we'd watch them on TV. He'd run an extension cord out to the porch, put on our Yankee caps, crack open a beer.
Caffrey: Way to go, dad.
Burke: Well, root beer for me. During commercials, we'd throw the ball around.
Caffrey: Sounds like something to go home for.
Burke: It is. And when I go back, we still do it. Except now I drink real beer. Oh, man. What I'd pay to have that bat in my collection.
Caffrey: I bet it's a lot of money for that piece of wood.
Burke: "Piece of wood"?
Caffrey: Yeah. I mean, take away the fact that DiMaggio swung it, it's just a bat.
Burke: But some guy named Pollock can splatter paint on a canvas and you think it's worth millions of dollars.
Caffrey: "Splatter paint on a canvas"? You stand in front of one of Pollock's works, the chaos fades away and you see the discipline, the balance of restraint and abandon.
Burke: Like when DiMaggio stepped up to the plate.
Caffrey: Great art has a broader meaning. It captures a time, a place, an emotion.
Burke: This bat was used to set the all-time hit-streak record the same year Hirohito bombed Pearl Harbor. For four, five at-bats a day, Joltin' Joe let Americans forget that we were going to war.
Caffrey: A time, a place, an emotion.
Burke: This bat, those balls, these pennants got this country through some tough times. They still do. Gives us something to root for. And if you work hard, swing for the fences anything's possible.
Caffrey: That's how you feel about baseball?
Burke: That's how a lot of people feel about baseball.

Diana: Where's Caffrey?
Burke: Prepping for his audition for Taylor's crew.
Jones: A bit like putting a drink in the hands of an alcoholic.
Burke: Reformed alcoholic, I know. And it's more like a bottle. But putting Caffrey side by side with someone like Taylor is the best way to nail him. Here's some surveillance from the hotel. Yes, I know. It's Mozzie. He's Neal's in.
Diana: How convenient.
Burke: Mm-hmm. So long as he stays on our side, we don't ask questions. We've granted Mozzie immunity.
Jones: To preserve his street cred, you want us to arrest him if we catch him?
Burke: And make it look real.
Diana: Oh, I will.
Burke: Same for Caffrey. Taylor knows a lot about Neal, but our backstop has held up.
Jones: That he was released two years ago but remains a person of interest in a number of elegant high-profile crimes.

Caffrey: Billiards. Couldn't be a better audition.
Mozzie: Don't get cocky. The man is unparalleled. He has won the Taylor World Championship so many times they named the tournament after him.
Caffrey: Are you jealous?
Mozzie: I'm ecstatic for him. It gives me hope knowing that Taylor and his villa on the French Riviera even exist. Of course I want to be him.
Caffrey: I assume his game is eight ball.
Mozzie: Oh, it is. Winning is important, but more so, he says he can learn everything he needs to know about you by how you play pool.
Caffrey: Hmm.
Mozzie: How competitive you are, what risks you take, your level of confidence...
Caffrey: Did you get any more info on what he's after?
Mozzie: Oh, Taylor is true to his rep. He promises no details until the game is afoot.
Caffrey: It's a good way to keep a crew honest.
Mozzie: Yeah. We could learn a lot from him. Oh, and when you meet him, he's gonna give you a big bear hug. It seems like he's just being effusive, because he is. But what he's really doing is –
Caffrey: Giving me the pat-down.
Mozzie: Exactly.
Caffrey: Got it.
Mozzie: Oh, that must be your cue.
Caffrey: To do what?
Mozzie: No, I mean your new cue.
June: Hello.
Caffrey: Hi June.
Mozzie: Now, while I still have serious reservations about your participation, I felt compelled to give you the best shot at success.
June: Gentlemen, may I present Lord Byron.
Caffrey: June, I love you. I mean, Byron must have run the tables with this.
June: You know, for some reason, every great con man in the world needs to master the game of pool at some point in his life.
Caffrey: I was 9 years old. There was a pool hall on my way home from school.
June: A pool hall in St. Louis, Missouri. Must have been full of hustlers.
Caffrey: Yeah. I was one of them.

Caffrey: It's open.
Sara: Hi Neal.
Caffrey: Sara. Hi. This is a surprise.
Sara: Yeah, today is that kind of day.
Caffrey: Oh, you need my help on another case?
Sara: No. Peter told me about your commutation hearing.
Caffrey: Oh, yeah. That.
Sara: Yeah, that. Congratulations.
Caffrey: Thank you.
Sara: How long have you known about it?
Caffrey: A while.
Sara: Yeah? You didn't say anything about it when we...reconnected.
Caffrey: Yeah. Look, I didn't bring it up because I didn't want to ask you to appear at the hearing.
Sara: You didn't trust what I would say?
Caffrey: No. We worked together, and it went really well.
Sara: Yeah, I thought so.
Caffrey: I didn't want you to think it was because I needed you to say nice things about me.
Sara: Oh. Well, I appreciate that. Don't do it again.
Caffrey: What?
Sara: Neal, what are we doing right now?
Caffrey: Talking?
Sara: Yes, we're talking. We're being open with each other. That is what we need to do. I don't need you to protect me by hiding things from me, all right? 'Cause that's where we got tripped up last time.
Caffrey: That, and a multi-billion-dollar u-boat treasure explosion.
Sara: All right. Tonight, you and I are gonna talk. Not about your hearing, but we are gonna talk.
Caffrey: What do we talk about?
Sara: Everything.
Caffrey: Quid pro quo.
Sara: I am an open book.
Caffrey: Really?
Sara: Mm-hmm.
Caffrey: I think I know where to start.
Sara: Of course you do.
Caffrey: How many other former fiancés do you have?
Sara: Okay.
Caffrey: And do they all practice tai chi?
Sara: Stop it. It was just the one.
Caffrey: Really?
Sara: It was the one.
Caffrey: Are you sure?
Sara: Is your real name Neal?
Caffrey: That is a very long story.
Sara: It sounds like a really good story.
Caffrey: It's really boring, and I'd prefer it, frankly, if you started with something a little more innocuous.
Sara: Gonna have to work into it?
Caffrey: Yeah.

Elizabeth: Hi!
Caffrey: Good morning.
Elizabeth: Peter will be down in just a second. Come on in. You, uh, want some breakfast?
Caffrey: I would love some.
Elizabeth: Good.
Caffrey: Thank you. This place looks great, by the way.
Elizabeth: Thanks! You're, uh, awfully chipper this morning.
Caffrey: So are you.
Burke: El, you are a tigress! A tigress!
Elizabeth: Honey!
Burke: Oh, I know when you — Hey, Neal. You grab some breakfast?
Caffrey: Hey. I'm not hungry anymore.

Caffrey: I never realized how much Peter loves baseball.
Elizabeth: Well, you know, the Twins drafted him.
Caffrey: Wait, he played pro?
Elizabeth: He had an amazing slider. Played in the minors right after college.
Caffrey: Wow.
Burke: And two weeks into spring training, I blew out my rotator cuff.
Elizabeth: Honey, I'm sorry. I thought Neal knew.
Burke: It's okay.
Elizabeth: I'm gonna finish getting ready. You guys, have a good day.
Burke: All right. Love you.
Elizabeth: Love you.
Caffrey: See you. So, that's it, huh? You only got to play for two weeks?
Burke: I went under the knife, and they were able to repair it. Three months later, I was back in the rotation with the triple-A club.
Caffrey: So you still had the slider?
Burke: Yeah, but that was the problem. I could throw it, but the doctors said if I continued, I'd destroy my arm for good. That was in my head every time I pitched. So I left. I had a choice — I could continue down that path or find a new passion.
Caffrey: It's a tough call to make. You never look back and wish you played in the majors?
Burke: Oh, of course I do. There's no bigger dream than playing in the show. Standing on that mound, right in the middle of the stadium, listening to the crowd chant your name. In hindsight, if I'd kept playing, I would have destroyed my arm. Then I never would have been able to pass the FBI physical. And I never would have caught you. Come on. Time for our show.
Jones: Caffrey's anklet's off, he's wired, and inside the billiard room.
Burke: Jones, when you played ball, did you ever imagine having walk-out music?
Jones: Hmm?
Burke: You know, walk-out music, to get the crowd going when you walk out to the mound.
Jones: Yeah, I know what it is. I never set my sights that high. I take it you did.
Burke: "I go to work," except it'd be "I go to Burke."
Jones: Kool Moe Dee? Really?
Burke: Yeah. Yeah. I was a closer.
Jones: "I go to Burke." That's definitely old-school.
Burke: It works.
Jones: Yeah, it works.

Taylor: That thing at the Del Monico a few months back... Was that just Neal, or was it the both of you?
Caffrey: He's not one to brag.
Taylor: Oh. I respect that.
Mozzie: It was me, not him.

Mozzie: I-I have to tell you, Mr. Taylor, this is a first-class operation from top to bottom.
Taylor: Well, you and Neal are a pleasure to work with. You're not having nearly enough fun, Mozzie.
Mozzie: Oh, I cloak anxiety with indifference and reserved chatter.
Taylor: You know, I might have some work coming up later in the summer. How do you feel about Paris?
Mozzie: J'adore Paris, mon frere.

Jones: Caffrey took a real chance writing a message in that ball.
Burke: Oh, Neal may be the expert in spotting forged paintings and bearer bonds –
Diana: And gems.
Jones: Antiquities, counterfeit money.
Diana: Pretty much any kind of document.
Burke: Anyway, baseball's my thing.

Mozzie: I have a well-maintained reputation as a crook. Make my arrest look real.
Burke: Say "Ow."
Mozzie: Ow!
Burke: Where's Taylor?
Mozzie: He called an audible and sent us instead.
Burke: Did Neal tip him off?
Mozzie: Now, that's an ungrateful thank-you from the cynical eyes of the law. Have you ever considered there are some criminals who are too smart to get caught?
Burke: No.
Mozzie: Pig!

Caffrey: What are you doing, Moz?
Taylor: Pantomiming his wholly unexpected capture, I'm sure. It's not just the New York summer heat. The air thickens when things don't feel right.
Caffrey: Mozzie said something, didn't he? Everyone gets paid.
Taylor: Always on my team. I hope this little operation of yours has built up enough good will that you'll be joining Mozzie in Paris in a few months.
Caffrey: You still think I'm a thief?
Taylor: Fish don't do well out of water.

Caffrey: Hey! Thought we were meeting at the office.
Burke: Can I come in?
Caffrey: Sure. Come on in. You okay? You seem a little tense.
Burke: Yeah, just got some things on my mind... One of which is Taylor. How do you think he got away?
Caffrey: He runs a pretty good game.
Burke: He does. You want to know what I think?
Caffrey: Sure.
Burke: He's not the most brilliant criminal, and his thefts aren't high-tech. But he knows people. I think he charmed Mozzie, the same way he does everybody else, and in the end, Mozzie liked him too much to see him get caught.
Caffrey: That's one theory. But you got Withrow. And you saved the baseball. Which reminds me, I got something for you. You sure you're okay?
Burke: Yeah. I'm okay.
Caffrey: Get ready.
Burke: What? That's my rookie card.
Caffrey: Sure is. You know, I got to say, knowing you played pro ball, I don't know, made me see you in a whole new light.
Burke: Really?
Caffrey: Yeah. There's a lot more to Peter Burke than I know.
Burke: How did you get this?
Caffrey: I have my ways. I got something else for you, too, for saving a piece of baseball history. Come on. You're gonna love it.
Burke: Can I keep this?
Caffrey: Sure. They're not that expensive.

Burke: How did you arrange this?
Caffrey: I have my ways. You ready?
Burke: Yep.
Caffrey: Let's go to Burke.
Burke: I'm standing on the pitcher's mound in Yankee Stadium.
Caffrey: I know.
Burke: Thank you.
Caffrey: Why didn't you tell me you played pro?
Burke: Ahh, there are things in the past that live in the past. Not my life anymore.
Caffrey: Some of the things we've done are pretty hard to forget. Honestly, Peter...
Burke: Hmm?
Caffrey: Do I have a shot at commutation?
Burke: You know, the one thing that I took away from my injury is that, on days like this, don't worry about the future or the past.
Caffrey: Enjoy the moment?

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